I didn’t really have dinner tonight, just kind of ate. So at like 9pm, my mom saw me nibbling on almonds. She told me she thinks I don’t eat enough after I work out and asked me to let her make me some more nutritious food. I wanted to say no, I had had enough calories and was fine. But what would that do? She’d just worry more if I got defensive.
So she made me a ham and cheese sandwich. 97% fat free ham and low calorie cheese with a single slice of high fiber bread. Then more almonds and an orange. For dessert, she prepared another slice of bread with a thick layer of peanut butter, honey, lots chocolate chips, and cinnamon.
I’m not going to do the calories for this. I know that it’s probably around or above 2000 calories, but I burned 760 today. I won’t weigh myself tomorrow so as to not freak myself out.
I’m really overwhelmed by the need to purge. I won’t do it, I really won’t. I can’t, I’ve already taken my PCOS medication and birth control pill. I hate bringing my meds back up.
So tomorrow I’ll just lift weights and eat clean, even at work. I’ll take edamame for when I go on break at work. But maybe my mom is right, maybe I should be eating more. I guess we’ll see on Wednesday.
But it’s so easy to forget that my eating doesn’t just effect me. My mom’s sister nearly died of anorexia when they were younger and her father had bulimia. She notices everything, no matter how hard I try to hide it. She might not have said anything, but I know what she’s thinking when I come out of the bathroom with bloodshot eyes. I know how much it hurts her to see me let myself go hungry.
The other night she tried to feed me more and I resisted until she said, “I just can’t let you be hungry.” I can’t hurt her with my habits anymore, I need to work my shit out.
Its funny the way the world works.
After an entire week of eating junk food without working out, I finally weighed myself today.
Surprisingly, I still lost two pounds! That puts me at my lowest weight so far at 136 lbs. Its weird to think that just a little under 5 months ago I was around 151.
But I’m going to celebrate with this Oreo…and none of you can stop me.
I blog about
- weight loss
- doctor who
- hipsters
- other nerdy things
Today was a little easier then yesterday although I’m still really sore! Maybe it’s just wishful thinking but I think my legs are a little more toned :0 can anyone tell me if it’s possible? I mean I’ve only been doing it for three days but I think I’ve noticed a difference already! I’m so going to re-start the program after the 30 days. It’s a lot of fun and it’s short which I love! I’m loving the 30 Day Shred!
I used to cook all the time with my grandma when I was little, but I haven’t really cooked lately. I’m not sure why, I really miss it. There are a ton of low cal recipes I really want to try, so I think I’ll give it a shot. :)
Just because something SAYS its healthy does not mean it is! Do some reasearch, rather than just accepting what you see on the internet or television. Things like the “Healthy Skinny Girl Diet” are not healthy, and can actually hurt you!
Going to run for 20 to 25 minutes now, then 10 minutes of crunches/jumping jacks/squats/lunges/etc, then idk what. Woooooooooooooo :3
