BOKEP SEJATI

Because Your Face is Not Fondue, STAY AWAY from Sharp Pointed Objects

Sephora is Eyeshadow Government's home away from home, and the mere thought of criticizing this emporium of goodness would be like cutting off our right hand. But while rambling through the aisles of Sephora, a dangerous piece of metal flashed into our field of vision. It's a "complexion extractor with lance" and is sold in some Tool sections of Sephora.

This tool should only be used by professionally licensed aestheticians. By "extracting" pores at home, you risk permanent scarring and infection.

In summary, facial extractions are so not DIY. That's why Benjamin Franklin invented money.

(Sephora's website has an appropriate disclaimer about this complexion extractor, explaining sterilization techniques and advising customers with deep acne and/or cystic acne to visit a dermatologist instead.)

Recommended: Spafinder.com.

Easy Everyday Favorite: Chidoriya Maiko Soap

My friend gave me a puzzled look when I picked up an $8 "bar of soap" wrapped in neat paper. But it's for my face and Japanese, and in the grand scheme of things, was a total steal.

Better than a Swiffer, Chidoriya Maiko Soap is a soap that doesn't strip your skin of its natural moisture. We use it all the time, but it seems to last for months on end. Just don't nibble it.

Buy it: Chidoriya Maiko Soap ($8.00), Luilei at 682 union street, brooklyn ny 11215; or ChidoriyaWorld online

How to Be Royal Blue

Way back when, there was no makeup for chicks like you and me unless you were a duchess. Life pre-diet Coke must have really sucked.

But Royal Blue is the way to go when you're up for some historical (spring!) romance. This shade is schoolgirl at first sight, but spells plain drama on the eyes. For a smoky night look, lightly line your eyes and the inner corner of your lower lid with Urban Decay's Deluxe Eyeshadow in Adore using a firm tipped brush. Then mess it up with your fingers. (Adore, pictured above).

In terms of a color-match, i.d. Bare Minerals also has a powder shade in Denim. The only problem was that while testing it out, half the pot landed on my forehead, which was kind of embarassing to be a blueberry. If you're careful with the loose powder, layer the royal blue base with a pretty amethyst shade, like Bare Minerals in Bordeaux, across the lids and then, blend Bare Minerals Eyeshadow in Blush shade below the brows to really open up your eyes.

Can we say "meow" Duchess? Off with their heads!

Buy it: Urban Decay Deluxe Eyeshadow in Adore ($17); i.d. Bare Minerals Eyeshadow in Bordeux and Blush ($12), Sephora.

The Perfect Spring: Paul and Joe Lipstick

Make lips prettier than tulips with Paul & Joe lipstick in Coral. Floral everything is absolutely "in" for spring.

Buy it: Paul & Joe Lipstick ($20), Anthropologie.

Plant It: Matchstick Garden and Eco Lips Organic Lip Balm

Cuteness demands we post this: a matchstick book with seeds($12.50) and Eco Lips balm in plush red ($4) for lush gardening.

Earth Day Report: The O.A., The O.C., Rich Hippie Perfume, and Recycle too

The Good and the Bad
Why else would I feel snowflakes in April in New York? Earth Day is especially important this year because, lets's face it, our environment is going down the tubes.
Aaaaaah!!

Organic Avenue
Well, that day it was Christmas in April in NY, I went on a walk and got sucked into Organic Avenue along Stanton Street. I probably would have planted a few trees to get this hot organic cotton dress by NaturevsFuture. And in the spirit of truthfulness, I would have even chopped down a tree if that meant they woulda given me this dress, also featured in Italian Vogue.

Plunging into their beauty products section, the OA stocks Rich Hippie perfume in "Marrakech." Our vision is to wear the smoky "Marrakech" during the day to yoga, but we also see it dabbed on the shoulders and on hair at night, with a burgundy-mahogany dress.

Television Saves Earth Day Blues: The O.C.
So polar icecaps are melting, and this makes the ocean very confused and unhappy. Good thing large bodies of water remind me of The O.C., my greatest joy. SoapNet, a constant source of inspiration for all those around me, has revved up yet again and beneficently delivered THE O.C. on RERUN, often two times a day! I know it's only TV, but we believe The O.C. will inspire future environmentalists to save that wonderful stretch of the California coastline, if not the world.

That's all for Earth Day, and do what you can. Aint no non-biodegradable cup of Jamba Juice gonna get us out of this mess.

Buy it: NaturevsFuture Sexy Shirtdress ($225) and Marrakech by Rich Hippie ($85), Organic Avenue (The Organic Avenue website says "ciao for now, sold out" for the dress, but they had some in the store).

Nancy Drew Is Glam'rous Too

Wouldn't it be fun to paint your toenails red behind a secret bookcase wall? Yuh-huh.

We're so glad you're on the same page. If you want to smell like bookcase wood, Comme des Garcons Incense Perfume in Avignon is heavy with teak, patchouli, and cedar hues. Also, CB Experience "In the Library" perfume absolute, designed to smell of a thick Russian novel, makes for a good nap at the Strand.

Tart up nerdy Nancy Drew detective looks with secret spy-gel O-GLOW blusher by Smashbox. O-Glow starts clear on on the figertips, and heats up to a natural flush on your cheeks. Spooky!

Buy it: Comme des Garcons Incense Perfume in Avignon ($62), Lucky Scent or Annie O. at the Hotel On Rivington; CB Perfume Experience "In the Library" ($12-55), I Hate Perfume; O-Glow by Smashbox ($26), Sephora, Secret Bookcase Security Wall by Woodfold.

Meditation on Black Ink in the Rain

Been thinking about the meaning of life today, and in conclusion, there is no such thing as waterproof mascara. It's best to twirl about town and keep those lashes dry with a sturdy accessory, like this swell canary yellow umbrella.

Oh Yes, That Perez Hilton
It's splashdown for April, and who better to splash in a puddle with than arch-blogger Perez Hilton. I bet you didn't know he uses tinted moisturizer, just like my roomie Genevieve. The Girls in the Beauty Dept at Glamour get the dirt from that silly boy.

Try my roomie's fave Burt's Bees Tinted Moisturizer ($11), which contains a dab of beeswax and rosemary oil.

Buy it: Folding Vintage Dot Umbrella by Echo ($38), Echo; Burt's Bees Tinted Moisturizer, Royal Jelly Store.

Calling Bergdorf Goodman!

I'm working for you in a stormy downpour, but rather than trudge to Bergdorf for the beauty scoop, I just put on my elegant red Cacharel dress, and dialed in.

This is what the Lancome femme of Bergdorf had to say on the line, all with her dainty French accent. You may have heard about the much-coveted Lancome Proenza Pink, as in Proenza Schouler, lipstick that sold out lickety-split. If you didn't catch the Proenza Pink in time, this is the Bergdorf Goodman beauty counter trick to achieve the same creamy, ethereal color:

Carefully line your lips with a white eye pencil, Lancome's Le Crayon Kohl in Blanc, and fill in the lip area with the Blanc Crayon Kohl as well.

Then, layer Lancome Color Design Lipstick in Poodle Skirt over it. (See color swatch below.)

Just like that, without a dewdrop of rain.

Buy it: Lancome Le Crayon Kohl in Blanc, white ($22) and Lancome Color Design Lipstick in Poodle Skirt ($24.00), Bergdorf Goodman.

Shine On: Tarte Celebutante Dry Oil Shimmer Spray

Tarte's Celebutante Shimmer Spray lands spot-on in terms of sparkle level. In this gorgeous champagne potion, there are teeny-tiny mica flakes as opposed to basic arts & crafts glitter, and the natural oils coat the skin with a soft shine.

Remember the dusty olden days in the covered wagons? Celebrities have really paved the way for "glitter" acceptance, which is great for women around the world. Then again, if you want to read about a really useful famous person....

Breaking Non-Makeup News
On an honestly serious note, Eyeshadow Government was sooooo excited to read that actress Mia Farrow unexpectedly made great strides towards setting up United Nations peacekeeping forces in Darfur. Click here to read more.

Buy it: Celebutante Dry Oil Shimmer Spray ($28), Sephora; Rosemary's Baby with Mia Farrow ($9.95), Amazon.com.

Lo and Behold, a Tender Butterfly

The Government is all aflutter over Chantecaille's Les Trois Palette in "Garden in Kyoto." But you have eyes too. As a mother's day gift, or a thank you gift to yourself, this lip gloss, eyeshadow and blush trio is tops. I feel like the coral lip color is made to be worn with a light ivory frock and a walk through the garden.

Buy it: "A portion of all Chantecaille Les Trios Palette Garden in Kyoto sales go to the Monarch Butterfly Sanctuary Foundation, which helps revive winter butterfly habitats," eLUXURY.com.

Little Black Book: Sugar Salon

It's so cold this April in New York that there were little snowflakes on Easter, and so Eyeshadow Government is not a happy bunny. All we can think about is Los Angeles and Miami. Palm trees, Echo Park, Miami Vice, little grains of sand, sandals with sand in them.....!!!

As you can see, I'm kind of obsessed with the idea of warm weather. Also, in Los Angeles, there lives a hairdresser named Adriana. It's been a few years since she snipped my hair, but she is inside Sugar Hair Salon. If you're afraid of looking too cool or too much like you belong on the cover of a magazine, oh, don't be boring. Just go to her. She fixes hair like lightning strikes.

Road trip: Sugar Hair Salon ($50/$60+), 3930 Sunset Blvd, Silverlake, CA 90029, (323) 666-7000.

Beauty Tip: How to Look All Dewy, Like You Just Emerged from Behind a Waterfall

This makeup tip was pulled from our high school filing cabinet.

The short version is: you put on your foundation, blush, and eyeshadow, and then jump in the shower. No, this is not crazy talk, but keep your face out of the water. When you get out, your makeup will be awesomely jungle-y moist. And if you jump out of the shower just 30 minutes before you got out to a party, the "dew" will be yours for the evening.

Step-by-step:

Step 1: If you don foundation, apply a matte foundation evenly, beginning towards the nose and blending out with your fingers or a foundation brush. Delicately pat extra in areas that need more coverage.

Step 2: Take a thick blush brush, and apply an opaque pink blush along the cheekbones and blend downward. Pay attention to facial features, and apply a little more along the cheekbones, where the sun would naturally touch your face. Blend.

Step 3: Apply a favorite eyeshadow, or for super-shine, put on shimmer eyeshadow along the eyelid. Think coffee, lilac, and petal shades.

Step 4: Turn on the shower and get inside, with face turned away from the stream of water. (If da hair doesn't like steam, sport a showercap.) Hang out for 20 - 30 minutes in the shower.

In the end, the makeup will be saturated with moisture, colors popping all over. (Just don't apply shimmer blush too, because that would be waterfall look-overkill.)

Polish your glow by spraying on a favorite scent or Danielle by Danielle Steele, which smells like tropical fruit (see fruit salad recipe below) and flowers.

Buy it: Clinique Soft-Pressed Powder Blusher ($18.50), Nars Eyeshadow in Fathom ($21.00), Danielle by Danielle Steele ($65), Macy's.

Manunder: Like an SAT Word, But Not

Tram, a Glamour.com blogger, introduced a new, really useful word to me: "manover," unofficially defined as the process by which a sweet, shaven boy grows his beard and hair out to look "more manly" or "tough." Toned, muscle definition may be involved in this process as well.

I'm trying to find ways to integrate "manover" into my normal coffee break parlance. But I guess the flipside would be a "manunder," or a debristling. Just got my boy-f to do that! Sometimes hair growth is not a sign of spiritual growth.

(Note: That's a porcupine.)

Fiberwig Mascara & Bourjois Lipstick: Rock It This Weekend

Weekends are for golden bangles and loud makeup. Put them together, and light the dancefloor on fire.

What you need:

1) Flutter: Fiberwig Mascara ($22, Sephora), the best-selling mascara in Japan.

2) Blaze: Bourjois Rouge Best Red in #15 ($14, Sephora). Test-drove #15 and it definitely goes vroom. This is what it looks like....

3) Jingle: With bangles ($24, UrbanOutfitters.com).

Orange Crush

Since I tend to have lots of crushes, I also like fruit that has been crushed into beauty products. Zia Aloe and Citrus Wash is one of the few things I own that is just not allowed to leave my bathroom cabinet--ever.

Of course, some days I wish all my crushes could live in my bathroom cabinet, but that would be "wrong."

Eyeshadow Government Extra!
Eating fruit makes you beautiful too. My new thing: Jumble slices of cantaloupe, strawberry, & honeydew with a few sprigs of mint and mango slices. It's super happy.

Buy it: Zia Aloe & Citrus Face Wash ($5 to $15, depending on size), Whole Foods.

Blades of Glory: Strike A Pose

Eyeshadow Government's beauty icon of the day is Jon Heder. It's rare for a man to wear bubblegum lip gloss with such grace, style and humility. On ice skates too.

To really wear the Blades of Glorious Look, we toned down the candy colors and found some muted shades for a "wearable" daytime effect. Try Dr. Hauschka Lipstick in Adagio for a tender pink pout as a base, and layer with L'Oreal Hip Brilliant Shine Lip Gloss in Dreamer. Or splurge and make your kisses do figure eights with Nars Lip Gloss in Harlow.

Buy it: L'Oreal Hip Brilliant Shine Lip Gloss in Dreamer, drugstores; Dr. Hauschka Lipstick in Adagio ($21), Whole Foods;
Nars Lip gloss in Harlow ($23), Sephora or www.beauty.com.

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